The Meaning of Queenship
by Mouse of Turin
Summary: There are no rules prohibiting their courtship or marriage. Ancient custom is not law, but it is terribly difficult to contradict when both parties aren't totally willing. And when you're engaged to somebody else. Eirika does battle with the obstacles between her and her favourite Silver Knight and loses. Or is that ultimately a win? Eirika/Innes, one-sided Eirika/Seth
1. Which is really more of a prologue

A/N: With 40,000 Eirika/Seth romances out there, I figured there had to be at least one universe where they follow Seth's advice, and the world doesn't end in angst. BE WARNED: IF YOUR UNBREAKABLE OTP IS SETH/EIRIKA, please, save yourself (and me) the trouble and don't read this fic.

The story takes 6 chapters to tell, and will be updated each Saturday.

* * *

 _A princess must pass through great loneliness, and sometimes be content with it, if she is to rule well... but you aren't really alone. -_ Crown and Jewel _by Jeri Massi_

 **Chapter One: Which is really more of a prologue**

It's a grey day in Renais when the bonfires are lit to celebrate the triumph of the royal twins over the crazed Sir Orson. The skies are threatening to rain, but it won't dampen the spirits of the town folk or the military entourage encamped within the castle's bailey. Orson is dead; his misrule is at an end. Young ladies wave ribbons in the street, old ladies cook up traditional dishes, young men take turns proving their valour by leaping over the bonfires, and old men sit around smoking and prophesying the future of Renais. Princess Eirika will dance.

"Sir Seth," she calls to him amid the revelry, "General! Come dance with me! Today is a good day!" She laughs, tipsy with ale, and pulls him away from the small circle of cavalry knights with whom he is conversing. The knights raise their mugs with a cheer to toast their general's good fortune, and Eirika leads her favourite knight across the lawn towards the sound of the fiddler and the stamping feet.

"Celebrate you must, my lady," Seth smiles, "but if you wish to remember this day, or to set a good example, you should dance more and drink less."

"Of course, you're right," she responds, "But you're cold sober. And so is my brother, so I must drink something on both of your behalves."

Together they dance, clapping and twirling and laughing. She is unsteady on her feet, and nearly trips over his, but his strong arms are ready and close, and they steady her. For a moment Eirika forgets the hollow pit in her stomach. From today, her brother is king in all but in name, though he has never wanted this duty. And with the trading of power from the hands of Orson to the hands of Ephraim, everything between Ephraim and Eirika has begun to shift, too. She feels it, already. He is the king, and she is only a princess - hopefully, one that will never need to be queen. Perhaps it is this gulf opening up between them that makes Eirika all the lonelier and drives her to Seth's side during what should be the single happiest day she's experienced all year.

The reel ends to the loud applause of both dancers and onlookers, and the fiddler nods his head before starting up another tune. "Again!" Eirika commands, but Seth shakes his head and drops her hands, gesturing to the ogling gaggle of captains she pulled him away from.

"Not with me, my lady. You must share your cheer with all your loyal servants. They await your pleasure." He raises his voice and calls to his subordinates. "Hark! The lady wishes to dance! Which of you will please our princess?"

Eirika schools her features to hide her disappointment, though she is hardly surprised. And of course, Seth is right: she must celebrate with all her people, not only her dashing hero. She takes the hands that are offered to her, and she smiles into the eyes of the devil-may-care young captain who offered them – Forde, she thinks his name is – but the rest of the afternoon she feels far too wooden to truly laugh.

* * *

The following morning, the festivities are more sedate and the grass a good deal wetter, but Eirika is refreshed enough to be hopeful. She pulls on her boots and a thick wool cloak and joins others around a cauldron of hot breakfast gruel. They fill her a bowl, then cheekily wish good morning to a late-arriving Seth.

"I'm running a bit behind," he admits as Eirika offers him a bowl. He takes it but doesn't eat. "There was a security matter to attend to last night."

"I hope you'll still have time enough to spare for me, General," says Eirika. "I'd like to spar."

"I'm sure that Sir Kyle will be happy to see to that, my lady. I expect to be in council with the king for most of the morning."

"I have questions about the technique you showed me recently. It needn't be a long session."

"Very well," Seth nods, "but first I must speak with you inside a moment." He leads her into an empty place. She can still see the tell-tale marks of battle and neglect under Orson's treachery. The ornamental suit of armour lies fragmented on the floor, the beautiful wall covering that once proudly displayed Renais's founding has been slashed through, and blood will stain the stones for some time. Seth's words are no more heart-warming.

"My lady, you have many men and women who serve you," he begins, "and all of them aim to keep you safe and happy. I apologize, as this will sound harsh, but it is in poor form, and unwise, to show me so much preference above all the rest of those who serve you."

Eirika blinks. "But you _are_ above the rest of them. You're the general."

"Indeed. But dancing and sparring is hardly the exclusive skill of a general. You should not be seeking me out on personal matters like these. It will only incite resentment in the ranks."

"I danced with you only once last night, and you seemed happy to oblige."

"I am not speaking about last night only. You have been too close to me lately, Princess."

She tosses her head. "If the ranks have sworn to serve me, then how could they require me to form no attachments to any among them? How unrewarding – for both of us!"

"They've sworn fealty to the crown, and will die to serve you. But if you clearly favour one subject over another, then you are betraying their loyalty. Especially now, in wartime. If you order your troops to battle, they must trust you with their lives. They must not believe that you are willing to sacrifice one person more readily than you are willing to sacrifice any other."

"But-"

He holds up his hand to silence her. "This is one of the basic tenets of ruling well. If you cannot uphold it, you are not fit to rule."

She folds her arms and attempts to scowl, though she is stung.

Seth softens his tone. "Your father is dead, Lady Eirika. You are, in essence, a queen, and must treat your subjects impartially."

"My mother was a queen," she whispers to hide the tremble in her voice, "I'm not. Maybe I almost was for a while, before we found Ephraim. But since coming back to Renais... you called him 'the king' just now around the fire. I am only his sister."

"You are royalty, Lady Eirika. You are a queen in spirit, if not in law."

She draws herself as tall as she can pretend to be. "I'm sorry Seth, you're right. The night we escaped this place together... you held me tight, and I felt safe. And I imagined so much more. But it was improper. I will lead well and we will finish this war."

He nods. "I know you will."

"You should go and get some breakfast," she says.

Seth doesn't argue, but after he's gone a couple steps, he turns back. "My lady, if I might – that night you mentioned... it wasn't only you. I also forgot my duty. I wanted to protect you, not as my queen, but as someone I could... whisk away... just the two of us."

Eirika blinks hard.

"Please forgive me," he continues. "I will not travel that path. I will not forget my duty again. I am a knight of Renais, and I will lay down my life to protect its queen." Then he's gone.


	2. In which she doesn't get the picture

**Chapter Two: In which she doesn't get the picture**

It's not long before the company leaves Renais for Rausten, then Darkling Woods and the Demon King's lair. The entire time, Eirika works and struggles to keep her thoughts and feelings in check, but Seth is right. There are more important things for her to be focused on, like saving the world. Romance, however ardent, is not worth losing all the rest of civilization. She puts distance between them and ends up fighting alongside Prince Innes of Frelia more often than not – he at least doesn't complain of preferential treatment. But she holds on to her general's confession. She will revisit this when the war is over.

The Demon King is eventually defeated, and Lyon laid to rest. But just when they all mean to go home, Grado is swallowed up by a massive earthquake with landslides that devour its entire southern region. The war against evil simply turns into a war against chaos. Refugees abound, and make their way north into Renais and Frelia. But at long sweet last, most of the troops are brought home and the days begin to develop into a new type of normal, one without further need for large scale military ventures. Thoughts of destruction and death are laid aside and the spring that follows sees everyone's thoughts turn towards life and love and regeneration.

Ephraim is formally crowned. Throughout the ceremony, there's a familiar, determined set to his jaw, but there's also a much less familiar blank gaze masking his eyes, and it unsettles Eirika. He looks much how the previous king looks in portraits from his earlier years, and she wonders whether their father changed when he became king, and how much, and how her mother felt to watch.

She catches Ephraim's elbow just before he steps onto the central balcony to greet the crowd below, regalia emblematic of kingship in his hands, on his head, and over his shoulders.

"Don't you leave me, now," he says, "not ever." And she is relieved to see the blankness of his eyes melt away when he speaks to her.

"Never," she assures him, and gives him a gentle push through the door. Renais has a king.

But war has left its mark. Eirika still feels the urge to keep her sword arm strong, even as the freshness of spring prompts her to look to the future. Both desires come together and she once again asks Seth to spar with her. There is a conversation they must have.

She catches him near twilight as he appears to be setting off on a personal errand. But whether he's technically on shift or not, he is always on duty, so he responds to her hails, waiting with one foot on the stairs that lead out from the south gatehouse. He declines, however, to spar.

"If you wish to keep up your skill, by all means, we should arrange sparring practice for you, my lady. A rotation of partners would be to your greatest benefit. I'll see to scheduling it come tomorrow, but I must beg your forgiveness, for tonight I am unable to do so."

Unsure whether he understands the motivation behind her request or not, she drops her subterfuge and speaks plainly. "I no longer command men in battle, Seth. And I am only a princess again, now that my brother is crowned. The war is over. So now, if I wish to shower you with preferential treatment, what should stop me?"

Seth's face softens, his brown eyes glinting with a reflection of the fading light, and his rigid posture slides into something more human and less soldier. Eirika's breath hitches, and she clasps her hands tightly before her, awaiting his response like a child expecting permission to go play.

"I... am flattered, my lady," Seth says, "but such partiality remains inappropriate."

Dusk may have turned to evening in the moment that passes between his response and Eirika's indignation, but she has no sense of how much time there actually is in the space between them.

She tilts up her chin. "I don't see how."

He has multiple reasons; she refutes them all. But Seth remains unmoved. "You're not thinking clearly, my lady. You have taken the heightened emotions of wartime and mistaken them for love. These feelings will fade."

She purses her lips. "Seth, don't presume to tell me how I feel or think -"

"I speak to you only in my role as your battlefield mentor, where I must advise -"

She throws up her arms in frustration. "You are such a _knight_ , all the time, so _dutiful_ , but would you just let down your guard to discuss what you _want_ , as a person? As a _man_?" She pauses and he does not interrupt. "You said of that night we escaped together that you imagined taking me away, just the two of us. Do you deny that now?"

"I don't deny that I said that, but-"

"But what? Tell me what you want, Seth, no matter how selfish it is."

His back stiffens and his face, unreadable except when he wants it to be read, is disapproving. "I want nothing, except for a stiff drink with a few of my comrades before nightfall. I am sorry, Princess Eirika. Good evening."

She has been dismissed.

Seth turns his back and strides into the evening, leaving Eirika alone, mouth open in a bewildered and silent "oh". He disappears, and she stands there a while longer, playing with her hair, before eventually wandering off.

* * *

His words are dry dust. They are ubiquitous, and suck all freshness from the air around her. Eirika carries on without complaint, but everything seems to be hanging in the stillness, stale and unwanted, yet not substantial enough to truly come crashing down to the ground. She is distracted for days. Once, her brother asks her where her head has gone, and she turns her gaze about the council chamber, as if looking for it, before she realizes what he said.

She is clear, at least, about the reason she ends up traveling the dusty road to Mulan with her Silver Knight. Prince Innes and Princess Tana are coming to Renais to discuss combining efforts on a few reconstruction projects and to negotiate the distribution of reparation payments from Grado. Ephraim has sent her, along with a few others, to escort the Frelian retinue from the border. Their conversation en route is pleasant, though minimal, and Eirika is glad to find that there appears to be little awkwardness between them.

The dust in her mind settles when she spies a flash of red, white, and indigo flying high in the sky. Eirika hoots in greeting and spurs her horse towards the horizon. Seth follows closely on her heels, as he has always done. As he always will. He can deny what he likes; she knows he is lying to himself as much as to her. They pull to a stop on a ridge, and Eirika waves hello to those encamped near the fort on the other side. Tana lands while Innes rides up to greet them.

"Well met, Eirika," he says, swinging off his stallion and approaching her side. He reaches for her hand, kisses the back of it, then promptly climbs back astride. "Well met, General Seth," he nods.

Innes invites them to their camp for hearty vegetable stew, and although she's mildly embarrassed at being offered hospitality within Renais's own borders, the gesture is accepted. She embraces Tana, then orders her small company to set up camp alongside the Frelians before she tucks up her legs by their cooking fire and talks over dinner until the sun is nearly set. Tana inquires several times about Ephraim's well-being, and Innes after Eirika's. She in turn asks politely after their king and queen, and then Tana launches into a story of a grand mealtime disaster that befell them on the road, which involved some highly priced chickens and an audacious peasant woman.

"And my brother," Tana asserts, "just handed over his stockings and a handful of feathers and-"

"The stockings he was wearing?"

"Of course not," Innes interjects. "Tana, you make it sound scandalous."

"He took some stockings from his portmanteau and a handful of feathers but by that point in-"

An arrow whizzes just past Innes's ear and embeds itself with a _thwap_ in the ground at Eirika's feet.

Everyone leaps up as the cry of alarm goes out through the camp. Innes is barking orders even as Tana dives for a lance and Eirika draws her sword, stepping protectively in front of him. Heart pounding, she knows without looking that his bow is drawn and ready to fire. Several Frelian soldiers form a ring around the royals, but there aren't many of them.

Seth responds by darting directly towards the origin of the arrow – a copse of old, strong trees – which elicits a worried cry of his name from Eirika's mouth, which in turn causes him to pull up short and turn around.

"Prin-"

A second arrow flies from the copse, this one aimed at Seth, and he barely twists his torso to avoid it. The arrow lands harmlessly, but the motion sets him completely off balance and he hits the ground. He's back up with a roll in half a moment, shouting for others to close in with torches. Their golden glow illuminates some of the foliage and casts huge, wild shadows from the tree branches, growing them into a monstrous deity of the underworld. Seth leaps for the lowest limb of the beast, and a short, obscured, struggle follows before Seth comes crashing back to the ground, pulling someone else down with him.

The landing knocks the wind out of both figures, and by the time the sniper scrambles for his feet, Innes, not to mention the princesses and most of the rest of the company, have made it to the spot. Innes snarls at him to freeze, but isn't immediately obeyed. Eirika knows this will end poorly for their assailant.

"Innes, hold your fire!" she commands.

Seth jolts back to life, causing the young sniper to startle and reach for something in his belt.

"Freeze!" she orders him a second time, "Prince Innes is _not_ going to shoot you unless you disobey."

"Eirika," Innes growls, "Get back!"

"Prince, he's almost a child! And... he's not going to cause any more problems." She lowers her voice and her sword, fixing the sniper with her eyes. "Are you?" He's a ragged sort, perhaps as old as fourteen. Certainly not a soldier. "What's your name, young man?"

He stares back at her with wild, desperate eyes, full of loathing and fear.

"Answer her, boy," says Innes.

Seth tackles the lad.

"No!" she cries.

There is no struggle to speak of. Seth disarms him and the boy is quickly bound and brought into the camp, tears streaking his face. Already soldiers are crawling over the nearby ground and searching the trees for any more lurkers. They come back with another adolescent boy, though they say he set down his bow at their command without any fight. He is also a ragged and devastated-looking fellow, and won't meet the eyes of the other.

* * *

It takes some time for Eirika's heart to return to normal, and even then, the tenseness of her body remains. Both young men are natives of Grado, who tried and failed to keep their families safely together in the aftermath of the war and quake. The penalty for threatening any member of the royal family in either Renais or Frelia is death, but Eirika will not see that happen with either of these two lads, if she can help it.

It's not clear who holds the most authority in this particular case, as the attack happened on Renaisian soil, but the boys aren't Renaisian and their target, to all appearances, was probably Prince Innes, who is less inclined to forgiveness than Eirika. They consult with each other in his tent. Its floor is lined with animal furs as befits a prince, but there are few furnishings to hide behind or fidget with. Somehow, she expected him to be a little fussier about his travel accommodations.

If he'd had a table, Innes would probably have been slamming his hands down on it."Would you let them go if they'd successfully killed me?" he demands, looking at her aghast.

"They weren't successful and I haven't suggested we let them go," Eirika says in a smooth and placating voice. "But they're not to blame for the tragedies that have befallen them or for their grief and anger."

"Would you hold me to blame for their sorry state, then, as they do?"

"Of course not, Prince," Eirika replies. "You did everything you could to fight with honour and to end the war quickly. And tonight, you respected my wish not to shoot. Please respect my wishes once more and allow me to be the one to deal with both of them."

"Why, what's your plan for them, then? Give them a hot meal, a bath, and tuck them into bed?"

"Something like that," Eirika admits.

His mouth moves, but he's at a loss for words. It takes some doing before Innes has anything to say. "You are too merciful for anyone's good, Eirika. The filthy street rats dared to attempt a royal assassination, and your idea is-"

"-is to give them a second chance at a life that's been unfairly taken away from them. I won't let them go if there's any doubt about them being a threat to you or anyone else again in the future. You have my word. Please, Innes. If you trust my character, trust my judgment, as well."

Innes' shoulders slump, and she knows she has won. There will be no bloodshed tonight.

Relieved at her victory, Eirika seeks out Seth to check on his condition. She finds him in quiet conference with the Frelian chief guard, near the lads, and waits until they part ways.

"Seth!" she hails before he finds someone else to talk to.

"Princess," he responds. "Have you and the prince decided on what course to follow with our... guests?"

"Yes," she says, speaking loudly enough for the boys to hear. "We will take them with us to the capital, and care for them there. If we can help them, we will."

He nods. "So be it." Then he also raises his voice. "Relax, you two. You won't be harmed for tonight's foolishness, but I advise you to rethink your future plans." Both boys refuse to acknowledge Eirika's gift.

"Have you seen a healer, yet?" she asks, turning back to Seth. "You took some hard knocks."

"I'm bruised, but remarkably, I'm otherwise unharmed," he responds.

"That fall-"

"As I said, Princess, I'm unharmed. Thank you for your concern."

She feels her heart constrict at the distance he's putting between them and for the pain he's almost certainly denying, but she knows better than to try and touch him, however much she wishes he would allow it.

She nods and is struck by another thought. "And your shoulder, Seth? I imagine you must have strained it-"

Once again, his face shows disapproval. "Princess, your worry is not only unwarranted, it is _dangerous_ ," he says firmly. "Why did you call my name when I went for the tree?"

"Well, you were rushing straight towards danger."

"Do you think I was unaware of that?" He is shaking his head. "When you called me, I thought _you_ were in danger, or were warning of something at my back. I turned and that's what gave this boy the opportunity to take a shot. One that I narrowly avoided, I might add."

Her eyes widen.

"Caring too much is a liability, Eirika. I swore I would die for you if need be, but _that_ is not how I mean to do it."

She can only bite her lip to keep her jaw from dropping, and she knows she has lost to him again. There will be no heartfelt confessions tonight.


	3. In which she gets crap done

**Chapter Three: In which she gets crap done**

The next few days pass one much like the other, mostly in the sanctum of the old chamber that has the great oaken table dominating from one end to the other. It's a council room, and it's there that the four royals set up shop with a few clerks and advisors to sort through the mess of two countries in disrepair. The wreckage reported in the steady stream of briefings wears on Eirika, as does the tension between her brother and the prince, who argue over everything from fiscal policy to the origins of modern temple architecture. But Tana is there, and the woman is dead set determined to embrace life with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face, and Eirika finds it possible to follow her lead. She enjoys the puzzle of resource distribution and takes pleasure in learning the names of people involved in various projects. In any case, burying her head in supply inventories provides her with the opportunity to forget her mortification with Seth. But she can't avoid him.

"Eirika," says Ephraim, landing a document on the table before him with particular gusto, "That man I set up to look over Craigh says he's desperate for lumber."

"Where's Craigh?" asks Tana.

"It's one of the new shires we designated."

"Craigh," Tana repeats. "I like that name."

Eirika glances at her books. "I think Greenvale is due to have its timber resources assessed. They've got a lumber mill there, as well."

"Check it out, and see what can be earmarked for Craigh. General Seth, you'll go with her," Ephraim says.

"Of course, sire," Seth replies. "I suggest that we send first an official surveyor as a prelude. Lord Greenvale may not take kindly to the princess making her own assessment."

"I trust my sister's ability and judgment."

"Yes, sire, but Lord Greenvale may be less charitable, especially given that Craigh is a Grad acquisition."

"Being charitable has nothing do with it," Innes says, looking up from the parchment he's holding. "Her judgment is sound in these matters."

"Our surveyors are otherwise engaged right now," says Ephraim. "She's diplomatic. She'll manage."

Eirika herself says nothing to Seth about his mistrust. She hardly says anything at all. Her stomach churns in somersaults every time she recalls the arrow that almost struck him – an arrow which, it appears, got left out of his official briefing with the king. She can't pinpoint the axis of the somersaults – fear of losing him, horror at her part in the incident, shame at what he must think of her, or something else. But whenever she succeeds in quelling the tossing of her stomach, she finds herself inexplicably spurning his company rather than craving it.

* * *

That evening, Tana grabs hold of Eirika and declares they are slipping past the night watch to go swimming in a forest pool, and Tana is persuasive. They're not very stealthy, but Forde lets them out, regardless. When the two of them are together and unsupervised, far from the confines of any princess role, they are girls again, splashing each other and giggling and exulting in the cool water. They have long been like sisters, but even between sisters, some things are left unsaid until the formal clothes come off and faces are obscured by the shadows.

"Has Ephraim said anything to you?" Eirika whispers when they grow tired of splashing.

"No," Tana says, floating on her back. "Not one way or the other. I think he's waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

Tana hesitates. "To see what happens." She sighs. "What about Seth?"

It's Eirika's turn to sigh. "There are obstacles between us. Always more obstacles. Duty. Propriety. Custom. Not to mention I almost got him killed!"

"But he loves you, though?"

Eirika gives a hollow laugh. "That's what he said, once. He doesn't show it much, though. I'm growing impatient."

There's a pause. "No, he doesn't show it much," Tana agrees, and Eirika startles because she sounds so defeated.

"Tana?"

"Maybe... there's nothing for him to show?"

Eirika's heart pounds hard at the suggestion, but she thinks it over. And she remembers the synergy between them during the campaign, the tender moments when he trained her to use a sword, and all the glances he sent her way at the slightest hint of danger even after she kept her distance. She didn't imagine all that. If he feels nothing for her now, then he's changed. And if there's one thing she knows about Seth, it's that he's incredibly steady. It's the reason they trust him, and the reason she now wants to throttle him.

"I can't believe that's true."

"Well," says the Frelian, and a wall of water crashes into Eirika's face, "We're in this together, you and I. So don't give up. Your joy is my joy."

Eirika smiles.

Tana dips under the water and comes back up. "I can't believe you're missing out on the rhubarb pie tomorrow. But I'm going to eat an extra slice for you, so all's the better."

And in the sky, the stars are shining.

* * *

The journey to Greenvale is a quiet one, with Eirika doing her best to keep focus on her surroundings rather than her companion. He doesn't disturb her thoughts except to suggest a rest she doesn't need, and they arrive to Lord Greenvale's hospitality in good time for dinner. The following day is spent surveying the land, and though she consults Seth for his opinion, there is little doubt in her mind that the lord's timber-mills can supply Craigh with enough wood to relieve the immediate crisis.

But as Seth predicted, Lord Greenvale is not so convinced. After an entire evening passes in which he never wavers from politely maintaining the impossibility of her directive, she and Seth debrief at her bedroom door.

"I advise a temporary withdrawal," says Seth. "He may not listen to you, but will be much more pliable if the king himself pays a visit."

"That's unacceptable," she replies. "I'm the one who came; I'm the one he'll listen to. I'll not drag my brother out here when he's got better things to deal with than a recalcitrant lord."

Seth nods in compliance. "Then you'll need the night to consider your plan of attack. I'll leave you to your rest, my lady, unless there's anything else you need of me."

"Well, actually, I do have something to say to you, on a personal note," she says, gathering her courage. She seeks his eyes, and Seth grants them to her, but they betray nothing of what he must be thinking. "I would like to apologize for the incident with the arrow," she begins. "I fear that you've seen me... hardly at my best. And perhaps your confidence in me has faltered, as a result."

It could be her imagination, because the lighting in the halls of great manses at bedtime leaves a fair bit to be imagined, but it seems to her that Seth almost smiles. "Princess, I've seen you at your worst, and I've seen you at your best," he replies. "Even at your worst, you have never given me reason to doubt your quality. Don't let that incident bother you anymore. I'm alive and that means I will continue to serve you."

But it's not service that she wants to hear about, and what she does want to hear goes maddeningly unsaid. She smiles weakly, and can't help herself but touch his elbow as though she were supporting him, although she knows she's supporting herself. The touch lasts for only a moment, then he bids her goodnight and is gone. Eirika sets her jaw and puts her mind on the matter of lumber. If it's service Seth desires to give her, then she will give him someone who expects to be served.

The following morning, Eirika barely says good morning, to either Seth or Lord Greenvale, and makes it clear to the latter that he should not speak unless spoken to. She both sweetens the promised results of Lord Greenvale's expected compliance and muses together with him on the ramifications of his unlikely defiance, and then makes a great show of ordering Seth to send word for a transport caravan to make its way to the timber mill. Smiling sweetly, she asks Lord Greenvale whether he'd like her to turn the caravan away again, and he doesn't say yes, so she thanks him for his gracious hospitality and assures him of the good report she'll give her brother. She feels very much a queen.

That is, until on the journey home Seth insists on her taking an unnecessary rest and proves adept at anticipating all her possible needs before she can command him – except for her need to not be coddled all the time. She finally orders him to let her take care of herself, but her emotions are so tangled she's not even sure if that constitutes a victory. Then Seth rebukes her for the ridiculous order, and that hardly straightens anything out.

* * *

"Eirika, come walk with me under the veranda," says Innes several afternoons later. It means he has an idea brewing and wants her to take a sip before he pours it out for the rest of the party to drink. They leave the oak room and stroll down the walkway. Eirika drags her fingertips over the leaves that press in from the yard. Innes folds his hands behind his back and is tight-lipped until they are clear of the gardener.

"I apologize, as this may seem abrupt and untoward," he begins, causing Eirika's brow to furrow, "but are you and General Seth involved in any way?"

She nearly sputters with surprise. "Excuse me?"

His face shows no condemnation, but is clearly expecting an answer.

"I assume you mean intimately," Eirika snips, putting her nose in the air.

"I would never dare doubt your honour," Innes replies, "but the inclinations of your heart are unknown to me. And watching the two of you, I'm not sure how to understand your behaviour towards him. You... gaze at him most keenly."

She flushes, and it takes a moment to cobble together an acceptable response, so she buys time folding her arms across her chest. "I fail to see how the inclinations of my heart concern you, Prince."

He breaks eye contact and hesitates, but inhales sharply and nods to himself. "Fine. I'll lay my cards on the table. Eirika, it seems that I've fallen in love with you."

And Eirika knows it's true, though she hasn't acknowledged it before now. Innes has more to say, a dramatic confession in which he both extols her character and lays the blame for his passion squarely at her feet. She briefly wonders whether he's ever fallen for anyone before, whether he's been refused, and if that might not account for his defensiveness; or whether he's so genuinely new to revealing his own vulnerabilities that he has no idea how to admit them.

When she realizes that he's stopped talking, and is staring at her expectantly, she rouses and concedes that she's known for some time.

"Then you have more insight than I," he replies. "These emotions have been growing since we fought side-by-side, but now... the strength of them has caught me off guard, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, admitting as much is a wise move," she says.

"So would our union be," says Innes, looking as puffed up as she's ever seen him. "It would be a natural match as far as both our nations are concerned-"

"Politics are hardly romantic."

"I meant only that our love would bring with it more benefits than simply our own happiness."

Eirika feels a bleak frustration pressing in. "Even so, there is _someone_ who may object to all this," she suggests with a wry twist to her lips, her own name at the top of the list, though Seth's comes in a close second. But while he may object in spirit and suffer to see her marry another, she suspects he wouldn't lift a finger to stop it from happening, not if she begged him to.

"Of course," Innes says, "Your brother. And you couldn't be expected to countenance my favour while he remains... undefeated."

She's taken aback, but not feeling charitable enough to correct him.

"I'll challenge him to a duel," Innes announces. "If I prove my worth to him and to your countrymen, perhaps I will prove myself in your eyes, as well. And if I fail, I will withdraw my claim to your hand. But I will not fail, I swear it."

Innes must believe that he is speaking to her, but he is speaking to some other princess, a figment of his imagination: a nameless pretty face with a pretty title. Standing before him is Eirika, a tenacious young woman who is sick of being told who she is and what she should want. "Why would you do such a thing?" she exclaims. "I am not a trophy to be won from my brother!"

"And yet," say Innes. "this is something I must do, if I am to believe myself fit to be your husband."

Eirika opens her mouth, but realizes she hasn't yet chosen which thought is most appropriate to voice, so she closes it again. And then she repeats the sequence before turning away from him to stare at a vine climbing up a crevice in the stonework. Two suitors, both of which are throwing up obstacles of their own design to prohibit their own success, and neither of which are taking her own desires under consideration! She feels as though she is breathing something much thicker than air, which grows heavy in her lungs and makes her head swim with dark glee. The glee swims through ink, rather than clear water, and she knows it is a dangerous beast, but she is tired of always asking it to sleep.

The prolonged silence appears to shake Innes from his zealous victory planning, and he places a hand on her shoulder, which she barely tolerates. He comes round to see her. "I may have gotten carried away," he says brusquely. "I was asking you about your feelings for the general."

Spite wins. "There's nothing between Seth and me," she sniffs. "Arrange your duel."


	4. In which she loses the game

**Chapter Four: In which she loses the game**

The consuming, swirling ink terrorizes her all night. The following day, afraid and ashamed, she avoids Ephraim and Tana, who are the only two people she expects might see through the mask she frantically puts on. Although, Ephraim's mask is growing more opaque to her, so perhaps hers will also be to him. Perhaps they are twins once more.

But to her great relief, the foul ink begins to dispel of its own accord over the next several days, after many tears give it chase. Riding on the open road again, escorting Innes and Tana back to Border Mulan, her mind runs fully clear. The fresh air and freedom work wonders for her spirit, and she takes stock of her situation: First, she is basically betrothed. Second, it's not to Seth.

Though hardly resigned to her fate, in the warmth of the summer sun she feels strong enough to consider their marriage a real possibility, and in truth is duty-bound to do so given what passed. There is no heart-pounding or stomach-fluttering at the thought of Innes, but she has always respected his intelligence, and they do work well together. The man has faults, particularly where his preconceived notions of other people get in the way of reality, but if she is to marry someone of "suitable" status, she could do much worse. And as their engagement is already an open secret, reneging without just cause would injure her reputation, at the very least, and that is not something she cares to needlessly damage. And so she sets about, with guilty curiosity, to explore the possibility of not marrying Seth.

The prince calls to her from the front of the entourage, requesting her to ride next to him. She spurs her horse forward. "Are you enjoying the fresh air, Prince?" she asks.

"It's invigorating," he replies, and motions her a few steps to the left, where he points with a gloved hand to a single, striking pink-and-white lily tucked into the grass.

"Lovely," says Eirika. "Thank you for showing me."

"I was going to pick it for you, for your hair," he says, "but I thought you'd prefer it to remain rooted and alive."

She smiles. "It would be such a shame to pluck this one from its bed. You chose well."

"I like to see you smile." He hesitates. "It's... better, out here."

They ride at a leisurely pace, and when Innes points out a michew berry bush, she hops off her mount to pick some. They're a vivid red, and they bleed in her hand, bringing to mind a certain knight bearing injuries on her behalf. She shakes her head to rid herself of the image and carries a few to the man who actually _is_ her affianced husband. He tastes them, and Eirika remembers that Tana also loves michew.

"Where's your sister? I've hardly seen her about."

"She's... flying." There's something in his voice, but she ignores it.

"Well, we'll save some for her."

They set up camp near the berry bush, and pick enough for a sweet dessert, but when Innes announces that he's going to take some to his sister now, Eirika finds her feet directed to someone quite different. She finds him grooming his stallion.

"General Seth," she says, holding up her offering.

"Those look delicious," he says. "Renfrew will be quite grateful."

She refrains from rolling her eyes, but feeds them to the horse without protest.

After dinner, she helps to wash the dishes, despite Innes pleading with her to let the servants do it, and in the end, Innes puts his hands in the water with her. But when their fingers touch under the surface, she forgets for a moment who he is and sees only Seth with his sleeves rolled up and his guard let down. Again, a shake of the head to chase away the image, but her dismay is not so easily shrugged off.

Throughout the evening, Seth flashes through her mind, and as the evening cools, Eirika's thoughts also turn more chilly. To Innes' consternation, she excuses herself to her bedroll early to avoid revealing her foul temper, but can't sleep. Thoughts of the two men bat her head about like a child's leather ball, until in sheer desperation she leaves her tent to find Tana.

Tana's not in her tent, but a few people are still about, so she treads stealthily through the small camp looking for her. It's a calm night, meaning she hears the low voices before she sees the speakers. A short distance from the camp sits a small grassy knoll, and on the small grassy knoll are perched two very familiar figures. Tana sits with her knees pulled tightly to her chest and her chin tucked low. Seth is sitting a non-scandalous distance from her, but his face is turned as though he is listening to her intently. While Eirika cannot make out their conversation, their voices leave an impression, and she wonders what her friend can say to Seth that she cannot say to her, for it's only at this point that she realizes Tana has been avoiding her. She nearly understands why, but chooses confusion.

As Eirika again attempts to fall asleep, her heart swells with concern for her friend, and with gratitude to Seth for noticing her distress. When Innes re-appears in her dreams, he comes with dismissive and snide comments that suck the bounce from Tana's step, and that is enough to remind her why she fell for one man and not the other.

* * *

Ephraim is paler than he usually is at this time of year, the tan of hard travels at last having faded, and the demands of council chambers and official writs keeping him solidly indoors. He has always liked the wide world without walls, so Eirika is not surprised when he takes her request to discuss a personal matter as an opportunity to leave the mess of documents unattended behind heavy wooden doors, and to step out into the training yard's semi-private spectator gallery. Kyle is overseeing sparring matches, and occasionally stepping in to thrash someone himself.

Her brother says nothing to prompt her, so eventually Eirika just blurts it out. "I don't love Innes. I don't wish to marry him. I love Seth."

Her brother is fond of straight talk, so she's a bit surprised when he sighs in response. She fancies he sounds like an adult with a hyperactive child that won't sit still. "I know," he admits.

"I recognize this is hardly politically convenient, Ephraim, and I don't wish to cause you trouble, but marrying Innes would be a lie."

"Where did you get such fanciful notions of love and marriage from?" he asks. "You're a _princess._ "

"The same place you got your notions of valour and adventure from, I'd warrant," she retorts.

He doesn't respond, but his jaw clenches.

"I will support you however I can," says Eirika, "only I'm not a pawn. I will marry whom I wish."

"You're not a pawn, Eirika," Ephraim agrees. "I would never sell you off. And I haven't. Need I remind you, _you_ went and got yourself engaged."

"It was a mistake. And now I'm asking for you to save me. Please beat Innes in the contest so that he will withdraw his claim to my hand."

"Do you know what you're asking?"

"Do you _want_ me to leave you?"

There is silence, a heavy silence, while Ephraim contemplates her request, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. Eventually he opens his eyes. "It's doable, so long as we can negotiate favourable dueling conditions. Innes won't agree to spears, but I should be able to best him at swords." Though he speaks of winning, he sounds defeated.

Eirika's heart leaps, but with what emotion she can't discern. "Thank you, Brother. You've always stood by my side."

"That's what twins are for," he says, flashing for a moment that charming, mischievous grin he's had since a child.

She smiles back at him, then glances at her feet, embarrassed.

"Speak."

"Seth is... reluctant... to act on our feelings. He believes it's inappropriate and inconvenient for us to be together. That our duties forbid our involvement."

Ephraim has his unsettling king mask back on, and she can't read him.

"I wouldn't ask this if I saw any other way, but perhaps you could... nudge... him in the right direction?"

"I'll do nothing of the kind."

Eirika is taken aback by the flatness. "I'm not asking you to _order_ him to marry me-"

"Good. Because that would go beyond the scope of my legitimate authority and even if it weren't, it would strain the relationship that _I_ have with my general, and _I_ need his support."

"No, nothing like that," she insists. "I mean you could reassure him that it's not a conflict of interest, or talk to him as a brother. If-"

"No," he repeats. "If you want him, you'll have to win him over. I trust you."

"That's what I'm trying to do, Brother!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I need you-"

"No."

"Why are you hindering-"

"Hindering?" Ephraim gesticulates and actually raises his voice at her. He's never done that before. "I agree to set you free of Innes, and I'm hindering? I trust you enough to work out your own problems, and that means I'm hindering? Seth is the one telling you no, and I'm telling you to go for it if you want it, and somehow, I'm the one hindering? Have you ever even thought of what the cost of all this is? And who's going to pay it?"

Eirika has taken a step away, and they're drawing glances from the soldiers in the yard. Ephraim huffs, drops his arms and shakes his head, lowering his voice again. "Hindering, my ass."

"Point taken," she stammers, raising her hands in silent defeat. "I chose my words poorly. Please forgive me."

Ephraim sighs. Again. "Everything else aside, Eirika, I won't do it because I don't think you'd thank me for it, in the end. You and he aren't the astounding match you seem to think you are."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I don't think you'd be as happy as I hope to see you end up."

"You think I don't know my own heart?"

Ephraim frowns. "Maybe you do, but you don't know _him_ as well as you think. Do you even know the names of his sisters and brother?"

She stands agape. "And who do you suggest that I marry?"

He grimaces. "My suggestion is that you go and eat some apple tarts, cool down, and decide for yourself."

"Apple tarts?" Even she notices that her voice has become rather shrill.

"You like those, don't you?"

"I could smack you right now."

Ephraim glances down at her clenched hands and then at her face. His jaw twitches and he gnaws his cheek, clearly biting something back. But then his blank king mask falls back into place, and he turns away. "At least one person still feels free enough with me to say that," he says, dully, and waves her off.

But she knows, of course, that she'd be in a tight spot, sister of not, if she ever struck him, and it's a childish impulse, and she walks away feeling very much the lesser of twins. She pours out her soul to Tana in a long letter, but the response is silence.

* * *

Eirika also writes a short note to her Silver Knight, a personal message, asking him whether there is anything she can do, anything at all, that would alter the situation enough that he would be willing to consider a future together with her. He doesn't say there isn't, but Tana's not the only one failing to reply.

She does get one letter, though, from Innes. It's a single line. _Please tell me exactly what it is that you asked your brother to do come our contest?_ She doesn't respond, either.

Restless, she puts herself to work on any project that catches her fancy, from drafting revisions on tax policy for her brother to review, to commissioning new tapestries to replace the ones destroyed by the war, to helping the gardener hammer together lattices. She's personally checking rat traps in the kitchen when she realizes that she's braver facing death than rejection.

And that does not become a princess. So, that evening she goes in search of Seth, to have it out, once and for all. But he's not to be found in his usual haunts. Following a suspicion, she puts on one of her simpler dresses and cloaks, arms herself, and asks a guard – she doesn't know his name – to escort her to the tavern where the knights like to relax. He balks, but she puts on her stern face, and the man complies.

It's a lively venue, well lit. Some of the tables even have chairs rather than benches. A fiddler in the corner churns out a cheery tune, while patrons drink ale and mead. Some play games with dice or cards, and a few should be somewhere more private, but mostly they're conversing, laughing, telling jokes and stories.

From the threshold, she sees him immediately, though he doesn't notice her. He's shed his armour and gloves and even his black longcoat, which is folded over the seat back. She recognizes the burly man he's sitting across from as Sir Garcia, and there's no mistaking Sir Forde, but she doesn't recognize the two women, one of whom is seated next to Seth. His arm is draped across the back of her chair.

It's probably nothing – he's not leaning towards her at all, nor does he seem to be paying her particular attention. He is likely just stretching his arm. But Eirika has never seen him so at ease. His posture is loose, his face a wide smile, and he looks for all the world like he's got nothing more important to do than sip honey mead and listen to Forde banter with the females. He chuckles. He _chuckles_.

And Eirika knows, beyond all doubt, that she would be intruding, and there is only one obstacle between them that really matters: he _has_ stopped wanting her.

She leaves the tavern without stepping inside.

Eirika has never experienced this before. The war wrought unspeakable desolation in all corners of the continent, robbed her of her father, and opened her eyes to the cruelty and uncertainty of life. It was hell. But all throughout the horrors, she had companions who stood by her side and supported her. She had friends and confidantes and a blazing campfire to sit around that transformed strangers into comrades. Ultimately, they all stood together, and their strong bond defeated the evil that was meant to destroy them.

Now, she is alone. And she has not yet learned how to be alone.


	5. In which she's far from home

**Chapter Five: In which she's far from home**

The walls swallow her up. She doesn't cry or scream; she slips quietly into a void. Eirika goes about her duties, doing lifeless work without meaning. She goes to bed early and accomplishes only simple tasks. Food has gone dry and she no longer spars, though she does smile at Ephraim when they cross paths, for his sake. It's a herculean effort for one she knows still needs her, despite the growing silence between them.

Yet less than a fortnight after she spies Seth in the alehouse, Ephraim abruptly stops her in the hall by planting both hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Get out of here," he says, not unkindly. "Go to Frelia. Work things out."

"I don't know if I can," she says.

"Sure you can. I believe in you."

She sighs. "I don't."

"Eirika, go."

She gives a single, empty laugh. "You know, you once asked me never to leave you."

She's not looking at his face, but his words say it all. "Situations... change, you know."

Eirika has no choice in the matter; he is the king and he sends her away, so she goes. And it's not Seth that he sends to accompany her en route. Sir Forde tries to make her smile, but eventually gives up the act. Eirika feels a pang of guilt over her despondency with him, remembering with a jolt that he knows what it means to lose a brother. But then, she decides that he might appreciate not having to put up a false face for once. She wonders how many of the faces she sees are actually masks, and what a shame it is to be alone together.

* * *

Forde delivers her to the main gate of Frelia's capital, and Tana meets her there, as she always has, although her cheery face this time is a lie. Innes, she says, is away hunting today. Eirika greets the king and queen, who speak to her softly. All know that she is not well, though few understand why.

Her longtime friend sees her up to the room where Eirika has always stayed, shoos away the servants, and wordlessly digs into a portmanteau to help her unpack. Eventually Eirika puts herself on the seat before the vanity and watches while Tana continues the task alone. Tana pulls out a black soapstone box of cosmetic face powder, which she lands with a plunk on the table at Eirika's elbow.

"What man do you plan to attract with this," Tana says crisply, "now that you've got my brother?"

Eirika glances at the box. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Nobody means to hurt me," says Tana.

Eirika sighs and looks at her through the reflection on the mirror. "I don't... I don't think my brother would have proposed, Tana, even if Innes and I were out of the picture."

"Well, we'll never know." Tana unceremoniously dumps the rest of the portmanteau's contents onto the bed, an assorted jumble of clothing for all seasons. Tana indicates a winter stole. "What about you, though? Are you staying? My royal parents believe you're here as my brother's betrothed."

Eirika shrugs.

"Oh, well, that's about all that we're worth, I guess," Tana says, coming to stand in the mirror t to imitate Eirika's shrug. Shoulders up, shoulders down. "You could be queen, if you wanted, or the most powerful woman in Renais, or just about anything else you wish, but since you can't be Seth's wife, you just throw everything else out with him and screw everyone else over."

"Now, Tana-"

Tana laughs, which is what Tana has always done, but this laughter is inverted, a mockery of the joy she's always found in small things.

"You don't even care!" Tana exclaims, hurling the stole onto the floor. "You want to kick me down? Fine. I'm good for that. But you want to walk all over my brother, too? What did you even betray me _for_?"

"It just happened; I didn't even think of it that way," says Eirika, with the little passion she can muster.

Tana breaks down, laughing into her hands. "I always thought that we were sisters. At heart or in law, at least in one of them, but apparently we're not meant to be either!"

Eirika stands up and goes to her, but when she touches Tana's arm, she finds herself slapped across the face. It takes a few moments for it to register with either woman what has just happened, but when it does, Tana's dry laughter turns into a sniff and watery eyes, while Eirika dazedly rubs her cheek and looks at her in confusion.

"I've always been in everyone's shadow," Tana's voice wavers, thick with restrained tears. "I have no power and my personal options are few. But you were meant to be someone. You were meant to be a queen!"

"But I don't want to be a queen. I only want someone to hold me," Eirika says. "Someone who loves me."

"Well, I don't have that choice," says Tana. "So forgive me if I hate you for turning up your nose and trampling on the only thing I could ever hope to achieve!"

Then she flees the room, and Eirika sits before the vanity dry-eyed, staring back at herself, wondering how she could win the war but end up more hopeless than ever. A servant comes to collect her for dinner; she says she's too tired from the journey, and continues to sit, hardly moving, until hours later when she hears the bell tower signal the change of watch. It sounds similar to the bell in Renais, but isn't. She's a far way from home, with no mother to guide her. One sharp breath later, Eirika shrieks, dashing the soapstone box of powder off the vanity top, smashing it on the floor, and hurls herself to bed. The night rolls in, and there are no stars. The night is solid.

* * *

Morning brings no refreshment, for Tana is not the only one she has to face. And although he was purportedly out on a hunt until the wee hours of morning, the kitchen staff seem remarkably silent about the prizes he brought back, despite being eager to say good things about him to the princess they believe is his fiancee. But Eirika asks no questions.

"You lied to me," says Innes, quite matter-of-factly, when he meets her over the late breakfast. "You told me there was nothing between you and Seth."

"There's not," she replies flatly.

"There was," he states. "Don't lie about it again."

She sighs and toasts him with her teacup.

"You also asked your brother to ensure my loss when I duel him for your hand."

"How-"

"Tana showed me your letter. Frankly, your total faith in your brother to be able to best me is insulting."

She sips her tea.

"You're being a complete bag, Eirika," he goes on, "It's unlike you. Am I meant to believe you've never felt anything for me?"

She meets his eyes but says nothing.

His voice drops. "That hurts. I suspected as much, but to know it for certain..."

"I'm sorry," she says. "It's not worth much, but I've made a mess of things, and I wish I hadn't. I am sorry."

There's a plate of butter on the table, and Innes stares at it so intently that it's a relief when he finally rouses. "Right," he says, voice hoarse. "But I was blind and saw only what I wanted to see, so it's partly my fault, too. And notwithstanding all that's past, you are still welcome here."

At that, Eirika has to laugh. "Tana may beg to differ."

Innes grimaces. "My sister has always relied on you to... contradict the handling she faces at home. That's partly my fault, as well. So, now she has to... re-consider some things." He shifts in his seat and pokes at his food, but picks nothing off the plate. "Tana is a question for another day," he states, "but right now, you're sitting across the table from me, and you are in distress, and you need a friend." He takes a breath. "So, consider me your ally."

Drained of her optimism and exhausted of her emotional reserves, this is not the direction Eirika expected the interview to take. She tilts her head, trying to process, and finds that she can't evaluate it, not while the question still hangs unanswered. So she asks it. "And our engagement?"

At this he leans back in his chair and scrutinizes her. He looks her up and down, and fixes her with eyes that could pin her to the wall if she weren't on a chair. But she meets his gaze and doesn't break it. Finally he looks away. "Still on," he says gruffly.

"Truly?"

"If you tell me otherwise, then it will be otherwise. I'm obviously not going to hold you against your will. But I expect you won't. I think you're going to move past him, and you're going to marry me, and you're going to be queen. I believe this because I know how resilient you are."

"Not feeling so resilient, Prince," she says.

"I've misjudged your desires in the past," he admits, "but not your quality. So this whole situation is miserable, and you're never _ever_ going to mention to my parents what happened, but I have no intentions of leaving you high and dry."

She can say nothing in response, but for the first time in weeks, her silence is not due to disinterest, but to the lump in her throat. She toasts him with her teacup a second time, staring at the glass tabletop, and takes a tremulous sip, and Innes, rather more brusquely, returns the gesture. They are partners again, if not passionately in love, and Eirika wonders what went through Innes's head and how he felt if this is the response that he finally gives to her royal mess-making. Though he claims he hasn't misjudged her quality, she may have misjudged his.

Outside, the sun is already high in the sky, but for the two of them the day is just beginning. Innes eats a healthy meal, while Eirika forces down a piece of dry toast. But then, she feels the warm rays of the sun come through the windows of the breakfast room, and eats a second piece, with jam. They both drink their tea.

"Have you seen the renovation work at Valni?" asks Innes.

"Please show me," says Eirika.

* * *

A couple weeks pass, Eirika bumping her way through existence. Yet, there are bits of colour in it, again. The outings that Innes takes her on pique her interest. Innes himself is much as he has always been, the more indulgent side that she glimpsed near the border once again hidden behind a defensive wall. She can't say that she blames him. But though he is prickly, he tries to please her.

One late summer night, a shack in a refugee settlement between Frelia's capital and Fort Rigwald catches fire, and like the tinder it's built from, it's quickly licked to ash. The flames spread throughout the settlement, rendering the already displaced migrants either dead or displaced for a second time. The fire spreads to the surrounding grass, so that military forces make haste to dig trenches to impede the conflagration's journey towards the capital. But, thanks be to Latona, winds come that day and blow south, forcing the flames into a river.

Tana, with other pegasus riders, flies low carrying heavy water skin bags, drenching the bushes that still smoulder. Innes overseas the trench work, and when the flames subside, the soldiers turn their shovels into weapons, throwing earth onto all that's still burning. Eirika starts by Innes's side, but eventually finds herself among the displaced, directing them to food and healers and organizing a survey of names for the survivors. She is at a makeshift healing ward – a canvas wall with a few crates for seats – holding secure a terrified, lone child on her lap for Father Moulder to attend, when Innes and Tana both approach. They are grungy with ash and dirt, as everyone else, and Innes has a firm hold on his sister, who stumbles.

"She took a tumble onto some fire," Innes says, but doesn't elaborate, and she notices that despite his reputation for doing so, he doesn't reprimand Tana.

Father Moulder immediately sits her down and examines the ugly burn blisters all along her arm, but there are many others crowded around the priest, some with wounds more urgent, and Grad refugees hold little loyalty to the Frelian crown. Cries go up demanding that the most serious cases be seen to first, that the princess is no more important than anyone else, that this is another example of Frelian abuse and apathy toward Grad lives. Tana is already in shock from the injury and doesn't respond, but Innes tolerates no insolence. Expression darker than coal, he turns on his heels and lambastes the crowd for their thanklessness.

"She's been up all night putting herself in danger to rescue you from your own blasted carelessness," he shouts, making some in the crowd grow nervous, "while you mill around whining for food, and all you have in place of gratitude is a sniveling demand that she wait her turn – and you call us apathetic! You're ignorant p-"

Eirika darts up, still holding the young child on her hip, and plants herself directly between Innes and the crowd. She places a firm but gentle palm in the center of his chest, locks eyes, and speaks with a voice confident yet soft. "Innes, this will become a mob. You must choose to let the healers do their job. Tana will be fine. We'll see to her."

"They're ingrates-"

"They are protecting their loved ones, just as you are. Let them deal with their own people. You must deal with yours. Right now, your sister needs you." She wordlessly puts the young boy she's holding into his arms. The child squirms and Innes looks at him with bafflement, causing Eirika to briefly wonder whether he's ever held a child before.

Eirika slings Tana's good arm over her shoulder and they stumble together behind the canvas, Innes following. She washes the wound, but the prince gets antsy, so she takes the boy back and directs Innes to apply salve to Tana's arm. He is still doing so when a pair of healers – young apprentices, probably – approach and say they will take over from there. Eirika is worried that Innes might yet trade volleys with the refugees, so she again gives him the child to take care of before slipping around the canvas back to Father Moulder. She spares the siblings one last glance to make sure they're alright, and is struck by the image of Innes protectively arranging a blanket over his sister's lap, hugging a toddler in his other arm.

Tana recovers without further incident. The settlement-turned-grass fire is eventually doused or burns out, and the refugees set down in a truly under-equipped shanty town that will not protect them throughout the winter. But the immediate crisis passes, and the trio returns to the capital, where they are much better off than the refugees are, and wash away their grime in clean water, then regain their strength with good food.

* * *

Following the fire, Eirika can't get the refugees out of her head. She broaches with Innes the idea of importing goods and craftsmen from Carcino to get them housed before the winter. Innes responds with something not entirely to the point.

"She was risking her own neck to help them, and they don't appreciate it," he fumes. "You should have heard her voice when she first found me for help! And she doesn't ask me for help often, mind you."

"You did exactly what you needed to do to help her, Innes. You got her to safety and ensured she received care. She knows that."

He purses his lips. "They demand too much of us."

"Their behaviour is poor thanks for the aid Frelia has given them, but they are still people in need of help. I would have us help them, just as you were gracious to me."

And so he agrees to speak to his father about letting Eirika head up a community building project, and it dawns on her that Innes responds very well to her influence. When she encourages and affirms him, he tries to please her, and when she calls him out, he often admits his mistakes. She has an inkling that he and Tana may both, perhaps, crave from her the praise they do not readily receive elsewhere, so she aims to give it. With enough non-pandering support, Innes might eventually grow confident rather than arrogant. And if he does, she thinks, one day he will make a mighty and good king.

The two of them work closely together to negotiate imports and labour from Carcino. Eirika keeps the human face of their project before him, while Innes is the one who persuades Carcino to cut them a very good deal. When they visit the building site, he brooks no nonsense from either the labourers or the refugees, while she teaches him to speak a little more softly to those who displease him. When supply chain or construction issues crop up, they consult each other and together keep the project on schedule.

Eirika's life begins to take on meaning again. She still doesn't care to dance or sing, but she can do it to please the children at the project, especially if they reward her with hugs. She rarely feels hungry, but food no longer tastes like dust. She doesn't even notice that she no longer thinks much about Seth. The past is packed away and the future is frightening, but the present finds her too well-occupied to be concerned much with either.


	6. In which she makes a choice

**Chapter Six: In which she makes a choice**

Ephraim comes to visit them in mid-autumn. He doesn't announce him plans to come, but simply shows up in a bluster with a small retinue, and Eirika's left scratching her head about how he pulled it off: whether he burned all the incoming petitions and literally broke himself free of the castle, or if he actually got support for his trip beyond the walls. If a posse of knights comes to drag him back, she supposes that'll serve as an answer.

Though she's glad he's finally coloured by the sun, even a little, she also must contend with the ugly realization that she's nervous to greet him. It's almost a relief when he's all business, and immediately shuts himself in with the king. Eventually Innes, Eirika, and a few other counselors are called in and she learns why Ephraim came. The refugee crisis in Grado has turned into semi-organized violence and threatens to become a rebellion, however ill-equipped. They spend two days discussing the best response. Then, as suddenly as he arrived, Ephraim is geared up to go. And they have not had a single personal conversation.

Eirika plants herself, hands clasped, outside the suite where he's hosted, trying to look indignant rather than anxious. After several minutes, the door swings open and Ephraim draws up short to see her standing there.

"Well, are you coming in, then?" he beckons her.

She steps inside, wondering what comes next.

"I was just coming to look for you," he says.

"Here I am."

"I wasn't about to leave without seeing you," he says, as if reading her mind. He sizes her up, seems to find her condition satisfactory, and leads her to his chamber balcony. Together they lean their elbows on the balustrade, looking southeast – to where home's supposed to be. They stand in silence for a minute, but only for a minute, because Ephraim has never been much for standing around.

"You look better than when you left," he says.

"Innes has been... very kind to me."

Ephraim nods. "Of course he has been. He cares about you."

She tells him about the projects she's been working on and lists some of the places she's been, but the telling sounds dry even to her own ears, and she cuts it short.

"So what do you want to do?" he asks without ceremony, turning to look at her face.

Eirika bites her lip and twists her grip around the balustrade, shifting her weight and generally showing internal distress and indecision. But the question must be answered, and Ephraim waits for her.

"I want to close my eyes and pretend that we're children again," she admits. The silence in response doesn't surprise her, but the gentle gloved hand tilting up her chin does.

He offers her a small smile when she looks at him. "Those were good times," he says softly, "but I meant what do you want to do about Innes?"

Ephraim's tenderness is enough to calm her, and his refusal to engage the topic is enough to persuade her, though she looks away and feels it's another betrayal as she says it.

"I... want to marry him."

He tilts his head slightly to get a clearer look at her face. "Is that the case?" he double-checks.

She nods. "I don't mean to leave you," she starts, and stops. "I don't mean to-"

"Things change," Ephraim says, still softly. "I understand."

"Don't you still need me?" she says with a very small voice.

"Of course I still need you," Ephraim assures her. "I need you to be _happy_. It matters much less where _."_

He strokes her cheek and looks in her eyes; his own are free and unguarded. She could swear that he _does_ understands everything. They embrace, and though it's not enough to light her way back to Renais, it's enough to spark an ember that her brother won't ever be fully lost to her.

* * *

The twins walk to the front gate together, and pass Tana on the way. He looks at his sister apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Eirika. I need to speak with this one, as well."

He leads Tana gently by the elbow into the privacy of a hallway, and Eirika finds her own way to the gate. When Ephraim finally gallops off, cape flapping in the cloud of dust behind him, Eirika moseys her way over the flagstone court and sidles up to Tana. Though they have sparred together a few times, they have not yet had a real conversation since the one she doesn't like to remember. It is time to try again.

"What did my brother need to talk with you about?" she asks, face still watching him disappear in the distance.

"That's not your business," Tana replies, "It's mine." Yet her voice holds no censure or defensiveness.

"I'd like if we could talk, Tana. About anything you like."

Tana says that she is due to give her pegasus, Achaeus, some exercise, but invites Eirika along with her to the stables and is the first to actually speak.

"I don't hate you, you know," she says, giving Achaeus an apple. "I'm not even all that angry, anymore. I'm just... tired."

It's true that Tana's demeanour has changed from what it was. She still puts on a good face for her parents, but Eirika and Innes have both noticed that she sighs more than she laughs now.

"Tired of what?"

"Of fighting my destiny," she says cryptically.

"Your destiny of... not marrying Ephraim?" she struggles to understand.

Tana smiles vaguely as she slips the bridle over Achaeus's nose.

"Originally, I accepted Innes's proposal because I wanted to hurt him, and Seth." Eirika explains. "It was beastly of me. But I never wanted to hurt _you_. I never even thought of what it would do to you, and I should have. I'm sorry."

"You were right about Ephraim, though," Tana says. "I doubt he would have proposed, in any case. But even if he did... it's probably for the best he didn't."

Eirika's heart squeezes and she comes closer to pet Achaeus's nose as Tana moves on to the saddle. "You deserve someone who loves you as fiercely as you love him," she says. "I had hoped it would be my brother, but... I guess it's not."

"Well... Your words are kind," Tana says, and she sounds broken. Yet the next moment, some of her old mannerisms come back. "Look at me," she exclaims. "I fought the Demon King and won! It doesn't become me to mope around like this, like a poor kicked puppy. I survived a war. I won't be felled by some girlish fantasy."

"No, indeed," Eirika smiles.

"And anyway, enough about me. What about you? What about your Silver Knight?"

She hesitates. It's been some time since she dared consider him. "He's... given us so much. Given _me_ so much. It would be wrong to demand of him his heart, also."

"You've given him up, then?"

Eirika scratches the base of her head. "Maybe," she admits. Achaeus munches on oats and stamps the ground while both women take a moment's thought.

"I said some nasty things when you came here, Eirika, and those I regret, but one thing I said that day was true. You're destined to be a queen, and I sincerely hope you don't mess that up again."

"I... I admit I'd feel a lot better about it if I had your blessing. You're his sister. And you've been mine, as well."

At this Tana chuckles, adjusting buckles and giving the saddle a sharp tug. "Didn't I just give it to you? Alright, alright. Eirika, marry my brother. He needs you. And frankly, you could use him, too. And I definitely don't want L'Arachel for a sister-in-law."

Eirika bites her lip. "Do you think we can be sisters again?"

"Are you not listening to me?" Tana says with a flourish of her gloved hand. "I literally just said that you should be my sister-in-law."

"That's not quite the same."

"Well," she grows more pensive again as she leads Achaeus into the yard, "I don't know what I can promise, but we can try, if you like. In any case, we can certainly be friends."

Eirika steps forward to embrace her, but Tana steps deftly back and swings up into the saddle. Once there, she gives Eirika a thumbs up and big, old-style smile, and lifts off with a flurry of white wings. Eirika watches her soar in mesmerizing swoops and circles, a tiny dot of colour in a wide open sky. She may not be quite the same Tana, but she is still flying, and after she lands, the two of them drink a round of ale together.

* * *

Several days after Ephraim's left, Eirika is sitting in the library, alternately reading a book on ancient myths and teasing a cat with a piece of string, when Innes appears at the doorway and leans in. "There you are," he says, "I've been looking for you. Come walk with me under the veranda."

They walk together, and he hands her a single pink bloom of aster. "Thank you," she says, wondering what to do with it.

"It's for your hair," he says, tucking it behind her ear. "Mother and Tana wear them like that sometimes. I think it's pretty."

"Am I one of the family now, then?" she asks, fingering the flower's petals.

"If you wish to be. Do you wish to be?"

She stops walking to meet his eyes, and takes hold of his hand. "Yes," she breathes.

There are questions in his eyes and more he wants to know, questions about hearts and inclinations and motivations. These past months in Frelia have revealed to her a lot about him, and she wishes she could tell him what he wants to hear. But she is still uncertain herself, and hopes he will not ask.

He doesn't.

Instead he reveals that he and his father have reached an agreement with Ephraim regarding their marriage, leaving only Eirika, of course, to review the contract and decide whether it's acceptable. If she finds it so, they will set a wedding date for the coming spring.

"I have a ring for you, as a pledge," he announces, opening his hand for her to see. It's gold, with a moulded wave pattern and an inset stone that's blue like the sea. "It's a bit old fashioned," he admits, "but it was my grandmother's."

"No, it's beautiful," she says. To her relief, it fits on her finger well.

"I wanted to give it to you earlier, but it didn't seem like a good idea. I thought I should wait until we were... clear... with each other regarding our plans."

They resume walking, Eirika playing with and gazing at the ring. Eventually Innes opens his mouth again. "You don't need to say anything, Eirika, but I think it's wise to let you know that I haven't stood by our agreement simply out of pride, or politics, or even a sense of honour. I do actually love you, and I hope to make you happy."

She smiles into his eyes and takes his hand in both of hers again. "I... think I will be," she says.

He smiles uncertainly back. "Good. That will give me confidence to win the duel with your brother."

Eirika groans.

* * *

Winter in Frelia is harsh and unwelcoming; winter in Renais is less vengeful. As the autumn weather begins to fade into frost, Eirika returns to her native land, the last red and golden leaves of ash and aspen crunching under her mount's hooves. She is going back to Renais in part because she hates the cold, and Innes claims she may change her mind about the marriage again if she experiences Frelia's icy blast too soon – though she suspects he may actually wish to give her one more chance to back out. And if not he, then she herself needs to know whether she will truly be able to say goodbye to her home, her memories, and her brother. The official reason for her journey, of course, is much cheerier. She is returning to Renais to arrange wedding details.

She returns to the rooms she has used since moving out of the nursery she shared with Ephraim, and feels a pang walking into the space that still remembers her as a child. Much of the furniture is older than she; some toys from her girlhood remain tucked away in corners, almost forgotten, but not entirely replaced by the cosmetics and weapons. Some things she plans to take with her, because she hates the thought of leaving them behind forever, and some things she will leave behind, because she hates the thought of disturbing them from the place they have always been.

There is one thing in particular she intends to leave behind, if she can. She is tired of the grief it has caused her. But in order to truly leave something behind, it must be bid farewell. So, once more she finds herself hunting Seth. She remembers that he used to enjoy training in the early morning, before the yard gets too busy, so she gears up as the sun rises on the fifth day of her last season home and pays the training yard a visit. Fortune is smiling upon her. Seth is there, and hardly anyone else.

"General," she greets him.

"Good morning, Princess," he startles. "You're up early."

He is a very handsome man, and old habits die hard. No sooner does he turn his eyes upon her than all the old stomach flip-flopping starts anew, but the sensation is stale. She neither ignores it nor lets it command her, but waits to see whether it grows or fades. It crests a moment, and then she is no longer concerned.

"I expect you have time to spar with me this morning." It is not a question.

"Lady Eirika, do you think it proper when you are en-"

"Innes trusts me. Do you?"

It's clear from the pause that his answer is not a firm yes.

Her voice softens, and for a moment she feels almost like she's a girl again, pleading for approval. "Once upon a time, you said you've never doubted my quality."

The pause stretches on, but only for a moment. "I did say," he agrees, "And I don't." He offers her a small smile. "Let us spar."

He hands her a training sword and they enter the ring. They step through a few choreographed routines to warm her up, then they take their stances. As always, Seth allows Eirika to make the first move. A few short swipes and Eirika's lost, but they go on, and she holds him off for longer the second time. And longer the third time. They go on, Seth always the victor, as usual, but something feels different than before – perhaps Kyle and the other mentors have been good for her. Perhaps the time off has let her training sink in. Perhaps she is seeing and responding to Seth differently. Suddenly, she wants to win, and she doesn't care that it's him. Seth seems to sense it, too. He grunts approval and his blows come down harder, but she recalls him being faster than this, and then, there's an opening and that's rare, and she takes it – and deals him what would be a superficial wound, were it not for their gear, and they continue, and there's another opening, and she takes it and- it was a feint. Seth's won. Of course he won; he's the Silver Knight! But she will be a _queen_. Something swells inside her, and it feels _good._

"You've improved," Seth nods, smiling. "I wondered for a moment if you'd take me."

She's breathing hard, hands on her knees, but has air enough to laugh. "Me, too," she says, shaking her head. "Silly thought." But she can't stop smiling wide, and Seth shares the moment with her, unaffected, and, she thinks, maybe proud.

The crisp morning air is back in her lungs. "I'm done," she states, straightening her posture. "But, I have a question for you. My brother once mentioned you have siblings. What are their names?"

"Helena, Megiri, Terra, and Jasper," he replies.

"Where in the line are you?"

"Second."

"Huh," Eirika muses. "Odd that I never knew that."

She adopts a formal stance, shoulders square, and holds out her sword for Seth to take. "General Seth," she intones, "thank you for all your service over these awful years."

He takes the sword and bows his head. "Lady Eirika, it has been my charge. And my honour."

His brown eyes are warm.

* * *

Innes comes to Renais the following April to officially meet Ephraim in contest. Many turn out to see the sword fight, from castle help to neighbouring lords. Tana also shows up the morning of the event, though no word was sent on whether she would appear.

"I was elsewhere," she says. "I came on my own. But I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Ephraim and Innes warm up with their knights, then meet in the center of the stone court. To Eirika's great embarrassment, they take their time smack-talking each other, and making a great deal out of Eirika, but eventually the knights standing around – probably led by Forde – begin chanting for them to shut up and fight already. They take their stances and Seth gives the signal to begin. Both men dance around each other a bit, baiting the other to strike, then, with theatrical reluctance, wave their weapons at each other in a final taunt before simultaneously dropping them to the ground.

"Well fought," says Ephraim, pounding his chest and pointing to Innes, "but since we've tied, my sister chooses freely."

"Well fought," Innes returns. "I'll abide by her decision."

"I will marry Prince Innes," Eirika declares, and the crowd isn't quite sure how it's meant to respond, but Tana voices her opinion without hesitation.

"Boy, that was lame."

Eirika follows Innes home to Frelia, where she marries him amid much pomp and an incredible number of flowers. The scale of the ceremony is a little more than she wants, but it's a requisite: the people are welcoming the princess who will become their queen. They already like and respect her; with time, they may come to love her. The bride and groom are resplendent, the ceremony is sacred, and the feast is sumptuous. No bad weather threatens the event, but a warm spring breeze dances alongside the ladies with their ribbons and wafts away the smoke from the pipes of old men and their musings on the future of Frelia. Princess Eirika dances the night away with anyone at all who will join her – but mostly with Innes. When the guests and merrymakers finally allow the three-day celebration to fade, they leave behind petals and ribbons and sweets enough that they likely won't all be found and cleaned up until sometime next year.

When they leave, and Innes is sleeping soundly in the bed of their shared room, Eirika finds a quiet moment to herself. She sits by the window before dawn and wonders how her mother felt, how Innes's mother felt, how his grandmother who had her ring felt, when they first came into their new role. She wonders if they wanted to end up where they did and if they loved their husbands. She thinks she will probably come to love hers. The stars fade, and the air is fresh and clean. Eirika smiles. She feels ready for the morning.

 **The End**

* * *

 _A/N: That's it, folks. If you've stayed with me this long, please leave a review so that I can know how someone else sees the piece. I'm interested to hear your take._ _Thanks for coming along, and maybe there will be a next time. :-)  
_


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